What's in a Name?

Lucy:

When we first told Stella there was a baby in my belly I don’t remember her initial reaction, and I think it’s because it took weeks and months for her to really start to communicate her understanding of the situation (trust me, I still have a hard time understanding such a miracle myself). Normal conversations would be about baby sister or brother and what would you name it. For a while there Stella wanted to call the baby Pink, I relate this name choice to more of the fact that she wanted a baby sister.

Then one day, she just started calling the baby in my belly, baby Lulu. We don’t know where it came from, but it stuck. So much so the teachers at her daycare would ask about baby Lulu.

In the mean time, Michael and I were still debating names… and one day it hit us, let’s check out the Lu sections of the baby name books, Stella might be on to something. For a girl the cute, classic, and familiar name of Lucy caught our attention. (I’m not one for shortening names, so it’s just Lucy, not Lucille). Plus, we had the opposite problem with the name Lucy that most people do, everyone we knew named Lucy we loved/love! So we didn’t have to turn or noses up at the idea.

The boy name we went back and forth with, remember we didn’t find out the gender with this one.    At first it was Lewis (Lu sound at least). Then Michael came in one day from work and announced “I don’t like Lewis, I just don’t want to do it”. So I asked what he had in mind and he said “Luke”, which still stuck with the Lu theme. I was on board.

Basically Stella named her baby sibling and we were still able to call it baby Lulu the whole time. It was a sweet gesture I felt both of them would really appreciate in later years.

Ramona:

Stella’s middle name is Marie, after Michael’s grandma. A woman who was very dear and near to his heart, not to mention Stella Marie just flows so well. So we went with it.

The idea of a new baby brought on some fun thoughts for names, and I always felt the middle name is a perfect space to pay tribute to a family member or friend.

My grandmother’s name is Ramona. She was a strong, independent woman who also had a lot of baggage and undo rest to her nature. I contemplated naming this one Ramona as a first name. I would get lots of praises from people when I would mention it, however I would get nervous about the self-fulfilling prophecy or expectation that might come with it as a first name namesake, and honestly I couldn’t make myself ever comfortable with it as a first name. So I put it on my middle name list. I hope my grandmother appreciates the decision we made, I can hear her say either way, but in my heart she was a wonderful lady and I can’t think of a better way to show my love for her.

A Birth Story (Baby Sister)

It was a Friday, half day at school, which means we have kids half the day and the other half is spent in professional development meetings. My principle had scheduled my maternity sub to come in and help me out in the morning and for me to meet with her to organize things (my morning was club photos for yearbook so the extra sub help was great).  We had tried to meet up the day before as well, but it was the umpteenth snow day of the semester, so needless to say I was very far behind in my planning for the semester.

I was running around all morning getting group pictures in and making sure my sub had things handled. Finally I had a break and was able to sit down with her and talk to her about the semester. I felt very rushed, almost like I needed to get everything in one day, like I knew something was up…

About 11:30 I noticed a wetness that didn’t seem normal, but it also wasn’t your typical “water breaking gush” you hear about. So in between meeting with my sub and beginning the afternoon meetings I called my doctor to ask about it. They wanted me to come in. Now you see I have a track record of being a little over cautious, so I didn’t want to jump into a hospital bed two weeks early because of a little wetness.

I called my mom to tell her what was up, she said it was good timing to be a Friday and that she would head up either way. She also told me to go to the hospital because at this time, its better safe than sorry, thankfully we now had a plan for Stella at least. During my webinar meeting I tried 20 some odd times to get a hold of Michael and finally got him. He also told me I should go, so we made a plan that I would finish out my day at school, 2:30pm, then we would meet at home.

At 2:30 we met at the house, thankfully my bag was packed, so I grabbed some bathroom essentials, just in case and Michael packed his bag. We showed up to the hospital and they got me checked in. The nurses took my vitals and checked me for amniotic fluid. They didn’t see anything, but the doctor came in and took a sample and explained to me if we see ferning on the screen then this is amniotic fluid, and if they didn’t they would do an ultra sounds to see what was going on.

The doctor walked back in about 10mins later and said “guess what I saw?” Honestly, I thought she was going to say nothing, but she said “ferning!”  I even told her “I didn’t think you were going to say that” she then replied “I didn’t either.” So they got me started on a pit drip because I wasn’t having contractions and having fluid leak for too long can lead to infection.

It was about 9:00pm I started getting regular contractions, my pit was up to about 18 (20 is the highest it goes) I was getting really excited and had to pee about every hour as well. Went to the bathroom and my contractions stopped… nothing. So my nurse upped the pit to 20 and I fell asleep. About 1:00am I woke up with contractions and Michael helped me breath through them for an hour or so when I asked the nurse to check me. I had been a “stretchy two” for the last month and I told her “I hope I’m not still a stretchy two” she checked me and told me what I didn’t want to hear “stretchy two”.

Another good hour of contractions went by and they were getting more and more intense, I asked to be checked again,  this time I was at a 3-4 and she asked me if I wanted an epidural, I asked if it was too early and she told me no, not if I felt like I needed it.

About 3:30am the anesthesiologist came in and gave me my epidural. Now I don’t divulge this information to many people because it makes me seem like such a sissy, but I’m a fainter. IV’s make me faint, getting my blood drawn by a tech who doesn’t know how to find a vein makes me faint, and I think it goes without saying a large needle in my spine will make me faint. So I set up on the side of the bed, held the pillow and the nurse while I breathed in between contractions and the needle. I fainted just after he gave it to me and they laid me down on my right side, doing this must have turned the medical tubing because I could still feel everything on my left side and numb on the right side. PAINFUL!

The nurse turned off my pit because I was in a regular pattern now. I was in so much pain, vomiting, the other stuff, trying to breath, I could feel the pit contractions on my left side and it was crazy. About 4:45am the nurse checked me again and I was a 6. Thankfully the doctor came in and tried to adjust the tubing, but it didn’t work. About 45mins more of left-side only contractions and finally I rang the nurse and told her I needed to go. She checked me and I was complete. It was one of those scenes, “get the doctor! She’s complete! Get the doctor!” almost like they weren’t expecting me to go from a 6-10 in an hour or two.

Finally the anesthesiologist came back in and said this is the last thing I can do for you, it will make you feel really heavy. I was prepped and ready to go, feeling loopy, and we were just waiting on the doctor. They asked me to do a couple practice pushes and said I looked great. The doctor showed up a little after 6:00am and we started pushing. I remember the doctor stepped out to check on another patient and returned and put on her gown and mask. I pushed a few more times and on the last push I saw my doctor watching the monitor very closely. She asked the nurse if it was “low” I didn’t know what she meant at the time, but later she told me the baby's heart rate dropped with the last contraction, which meant the cord was around babies neck. There was a quick snip, because baby needed to come out on this push. Once the head was out the doctor clamped the cord and cut it from around baby’s neck… and won’t you believe it, Michael got hit in the face AGAIN with cord blood (exact same thing with Stella). One more push, “it’s a girl!”

She was a little blue at first because of the cord, but nothing to serious and nothing a few good pats on the back couldn’t take care of! Apgar at 1 min was 8! Go baby girl! I remember getting teary eyed calling her my baby girl, thinking I don’t have just a Stella anymore. A lot of my concern was and still is with Stella, however big sister is handling the situation with grace, poise, and the most caring and loving hands; falling in love with both of my babies over and over again.

Welcome to the world Lucy Ramona! 

A Summer of Sorry

I’m sure there are so many worries a first-time-second-time mom has: how will I make enough love for both my babies, how will I find the time, the energy, is this the right time to make our family bigger, do we need to have more babies . . . luckily I’ve been able to answer most of these with an open mind, but there are obvious unforeseen situations that have arose.

As I sit here sobbing as my third summer with one of the most amazing people I know draws to an end, I’m sad to say they aren’t happy tears. This summer doesn’t end with an “I’m so happy we had an amazing time” post, but rather a regretfully heavy heart; and all I can say is, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry we’ve memorized the Disney Junior TV schedule because we’ve watched way too much TV.

I’m sorry lunches sometime consisted of popcorn, cheese sticks, and bananas.

I’m sorry mommy often has to lie down, can’t play as long, gets headaches, and feels sick a lot.

I’m sorry the most common phrase I felt you used this summer is “mommy, I make it feel better”.

I’m sorry I spent more money on items to occupy you with rather than spend time to make memories with you.

I’m sorry I couldn’t stay out in the heat very long and it would cut our park trips shorter than you wanted.

I’m sorry I didn’t want to jump in the bounce house with you, and preferred to sit there and watch.

I’m sorry we went to the pool a whopping one time.

I’m sorry I looked forward to time away from my family, sometimes, more than time with my family.

I’m sorry I would take extra long showers at the gym because I knew you would have more fun with the daycare ladies than with me.

I’m sorry I lost patient with you over things a mommy shouldn’t lose patient with a two and a half year old.

But I also want to thank you for still hugging and snuggling with me every morning, for asking to take naps in mommy's bed, for stopping in mid play and asking if you could hug me, for telling me you love me whenever it came to you, for understanding, and for being my little baby girl. You are going to be an amazing big sister; you are kind, and thoughtful, creative, and fun. I can’t wait to see you in your new role. I love you. Enjoy your school year with your friends. I’ll make the summer up to you soon. 

Angry Momma (pissed off, more like it)

Ok, so I know I haven't blogged in almost over a year... but I'm pissed off and have to get a few things off my chest before I do anything rash.
To start off, I'm pissed, momma pissed. Like -- you messed with my baby, questioning my parenting tactics  put other kids before my kids, pissed me off, momma pissed.
Call me crazy, but my kid uses a binki, nook, paci, etc. She needs it to sooth herself, here's the really crazy part: I'M OK WITH IT. For goodness sakes, I know five-year-olds who still suck their thumbs (what's the effing difference??).
Scene One: Stella started back to the same daycare in August, after our summer break. I noticed quite a bit of hesitation on her part about going back to daycare after a few weeks or so. Then I over heard one of the directors state, how they "rip, snatch, yank that thing out of her mouth". Light-bulb moment - I asked the director to stop doing this, and Stella anxiety subsided ten-fold.
Scene Two - A few months ago I noticed Stella's usual 2-3 hour nap had turned into 20, 35, 10 minutes and the one time of NO NAP that read across her daily report. I asked what was going on and low and behold, they weren't letting her have her binki during nap time anymore. We had fallen into a good routine of her not needing it during the day, and then taking it at nap time... I asked they pick up the schedule again. Crisis averted the second time and we were back to normal.
Scene Three - Today I walk in to pick her up. There is a lengthy note on her daily report as to how the other kids are starting to get jealous of Stella having her binki, and they are asking I no longer give it to her at school. I asked if she was sleeping without it, "No, she won't sleep without it"....
Now, I ask you this, are they making sure the kids who are sucking their thumbs are refraining for the children whose parents don't want their kids to suck their thumbs? Doubtful! Needless to say Stella is back to sleeping 35 minutes a day because they are refusing to give her the binki. I don't see the point. I don't know what it's like to manage 2yo (I work with 15+) but I don't see why my child has to forego, if it benifits her. She obviously needs naps, long naps, and she's not getting them.

I talked to Michael and my mom, both thinks we should try it for a while, but if she doesn't start taking efficient naps, she gets the binki. (I'll keep this updated)
I just don't understand people's hangups with binkis.... little known fact, I had mine until I was FOUR!

Magical Moon

To my baby girl,

You learned what the moon was tonight. You, your daddy, and I were walking around after dinner and the moon was big enough to still be seen in the daylight. I saw you studying it for awhile and then you pointed up to it looked at me and asked “ball?” I smiled at your curiosity and simply said “no, baby girl, moon”. You looked at it a little while, realizing before you even asked if it was a ball, it was something different, then lowered your voice and still keeping your eyes up at the moon said “mooooon”. We were at a turn on the side walk and as the stroller turned the moon moved out of sight, I watch as you watch it until it was behind the house.

I texted your Mahma about my experience and being the eloquent author she is was able to capture the moment in one word, “Magical”.

I thought about this magical moment and realized not many people can recall learning about something so far from their reality, so distant in their imagination like the moon. So I thought I would write you a letter to let you know when you officially noticed the moon. I hope this magical moment stays with you. I often call your Mahma, or your Uncle Skyler, and have your daddy drive around in circles because the moon looks extra special some nights.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the magic in my life!

With all my love,

Momma

I Gotta Remember These...

At 14 Months...

• Holding her hands up in the air "Ahp" (UP!)
• Dropping her hands fast to her side "Dho (Down)
• "BaBa" Bottle
• "Mahma" Grandma
• As she points to framed pictures, or any photos "Momma" (Haven't figured this one out yet)
• "Baaboo" (Balloon) --My favorite
• "Ho Ho Ho" (at first it was Santa, now it's anything Red and White)
• "Tanta" (Santa)
• Waving her finger "Nou Nou Nou" (No no no)
• "BoOO" (Booches, or any dog)
• "Wa" (Water)
• Signing with scrunched finger touching "Moah" (More, please, I want, get it, give me)
• Can sign thank you (touching chin then bringing hand down)
• Where's your ear (points), nose (taps), teeth (smiles a big grin), bellybutton (lifts shirt points, then looks for mine)
• Grabs my toes to "tickle" mommy, chuckles when I start laughing
• Likes to put on chap stick!
• Picks up cellphones and holds them to he ear, starts to talk
• Likes to climb things. Hikes leg up to try to get up.
• Dances to music
• Sings

Saturday Lessons

As people often say, hold on to every moment you can, because they will grow up so fast. I tear up at the thought of this post. My baby has seemingly, overnight turned from a whining uncommunicative one-year-old in to a little girl. -Using a spoon for the first time with mommy.

I've had a rough week personally, and I found myself almost getting tired of the mom thing, the wife things, the everything thing. I would somber home, get through meal time, bath time, and bed time. Michael and I would eat and I would mope around in baggy sweats and depart to bed around 8:30 or so. I could have slept the whole week and not felt rested one bit! Needless to say I was happy to see Friday come.

Michael started off my weekend right: pizza and a movie tonight! Yes, please. I fought through a headache and a Friday night show then I was off to bed. The 5:00AM call from the little munchkin wasn't as bad as it could have been, so I volunteered it to be "my morning."

We enjoyed a bottle of milk (she still takes one at bed time and nap time, and every so often in the morning) then we played with toys, and books, and puzzles. She loves using her new walking ability as much as she can and she's learned to not start throwing a hissy-fit every time she falls. It's more like an "oh" and she grunts herself back up. I love it.

We woke daddy and took a Wal-Mart run and about 9:30 the baby was out. She's doing well with naps. On the weekend, she takes about a 1.5-2hr nap in the mid morning hours, about 5 hours after she wakes up. However, at daycare they're able to get her to wait until after lunch for a nap... I don't see how.

When she woke up we had a joyous lunch and then headed to the Library. I loved just watching her make friends with the other kids there. Slowly approach them. Trying to jump like the big four year olds can, going off on her own to show her assertive confident self (I don't need them, is what I say in my head). She's wonderful. -Library Hangout

The afternoon lead into us playing and and giggling. Very little whining and crying. She can sign so well, and this helps the communication gap most toddlers and parents experience I'm sure. She says words back to you, baaboo (balloon), up, down, Tanta (Santa).... She then followed a wonderful afternoon with a great dinner time and an easy bedtime (this is typical).

She's grown so quickly in such a small amount of time. She is so happy and full. She likes learning and as a mother you almost couldn't ask for anything more.

Thank you dear Bean, I love learning from you.